Re: The Story of Rudolph Part II
Please do not post completely offtopic messages to the list. I won't kick you off the list but if you continue to do so in future after being warned, I'll moderate you for a time. This list is very permissive and allows considerable offtopic discussion so long as it is related to technology. We allow seasons greetings messages but this message is so far removed from what is permitted that I'm commenting on it.
also, if you meant your comment about my boots to be amusing, it wasn't. And it didn't even make any sense because I am a very tolerant moderator. I've done some Christmas humor creation myself and others have doubtless done Christmas writing. If I allow you to do this, others may believe that it is permissible. It isn't.
----- Original Message -----
From: Lino Morales
Sent: Sunday, December 24, 2017 12:36 AM
Subject: [nvda] The Story of Rudolph Part II
OK kids this is your uncle Lino here. Lets take a quicky breaky about
all things NVVDA shall we? Now that the subject line got your attention.
I wrote this up a week ago today. Enjoy and Merry Christmas. Oh and Gene
don't kick me off the list with your hooves ahem steel toed boots. Thanks
The Story of Rudolph Part II
by Lino Morales
Now here's a little story I'd like to tell about a red nosed reindeer
you all know so well. It started way down in history. This whole story
of Rudolph has never been told till now.
You see, after going to the Land of Misfit Toys and saving Christmas,
Rudolph and Clarice never solidified their love towards one another.
Clarice and Rudolph were talking late one night in the North Pole and
she said, "Rudolph, remember when you were a little buck and I was a
little doe I said that you were cute?"
"Yes, I remember," said Rudolph.
"Well I think it’s time we solidified our love to each other," Clarice said.
"Oh really? You really mean it?" said Rudolph.
"Yes," said Clarice.
"Well, OK," replied Rudolph.
As she looked into his reindeer eyes, she sang this little song. “You
are the sunshine of my life, because your nose is oh so bright.”
"Wow!" said Rudolph.
So, a few months later they were happily married inside Santa's
workshop. All the females that work for the fat guy decorated his shop
Well, a few months later Clarice gave birth to their first fawns. They
named them LeAnne and Cleo. They grew up playing the same reindeer games
Rudolph and Clarice played when Rudy had his nose problems which you
already know that story, right?
Ahem! Anyway, LeAnne and Cleo grew up to become beautiful teenaged does.
They were set to someday help fly Santa's sleigh.
One day, this outlaw of a reindeer named Leroy came to the North Pole.
See, he originally lived in the mountains of Tennessee. He made his ma
and pa mad one day and took off far, far away in his John Deere flying
tractor. Well he ended up at a rest stop in the South Pole. After he was
well rested from such a long trip he finished his journey to the North
Pole. He realized once he got their it was rather damn cold there. Much
colder than the mountains of ole Tennessee.
"I'm glad I packed an extry set of boots and long johns,” Leroy said to
Well, one fine day, he found himself lost in the North Pole.
“Dag nabbit! I forgot my map!” he said.
As he was wandering around the North Pole he saw this pretty little doe
prancing along in the snow.
Howdy, ma’am! he shouted.
“Hi,” she said shyly.
“I'm dang near lost, Leroy said. “Say, what's your name, miss?”
“LeAnne,” the little doe said.
They shook hooves.
“Well, who are you and why do you talk with a Southern accent?” LeAnne
“Well see, I come from Tennessee.”
“Oh wow!” LeAnne said.
“Well see, my ma and pa got really mad at me back home and I needed to
get away. You see, I'm a bit of an outlaw reindeer. I got into lots of
trouble with all the pretty doe girls and, well, ma and pa couldn’t put
up with me anymore.”
“Wow!” LeAnne said. “So why in the world are you up here?”
“Well, I was wantin’ to ask Mr. Santy Claus for a job.”
“A job?” LeAnne said.
“Yup, a job flying my flying John Deere tractor.”
“Now why would you wanna do that?” Said LeAnne.
“Well, I heard all about that thar reindeer Rudolph back home when I was
a young‘un buck and I figured he needs a little help sometimes.”
LeAnne said, “You wanna help out my pa?”
“Say what?!” Leroy said. “Rudy is your pa?”
“Yes sir,” LeAnne said.
“You see, miss LeAnne, my tractor can fly all around the world. From the
farm homes to the city houses. I can plunk down all them thar presents
for all them good kiddies.”
“Amazing!” said LeAnne.
“You wanna see my flying tractor?” asked Leroy.
“Sure,” said Leann.
“Well she’s parked over yonder on that thar snow bank. Do you hear the
“Yes, I do,” said the little doe.
“Well, I had to leave it on so the diesel won't get cold.”
So, as they both trudged to the snow bank, the flying tractor got louder
and louder. It startled all of the snow creatures nearby.
“What is that annoying sound?!” One of them said.
“I don't know!” Said another.
Well, the gentleman Leroy was, he invited LeAnne into the cab of his
“Say, you want some Slim Jims, miss LeAnne?”
“A Slim Jim? What's that?” she asked.
“Well, you see, it’s like deer sausage, but it’s not made from deer meat
like them crazy humans like to hunt every winter.”
“OK, I'll try some,” LeAnne said.
“Great! Now relax and I'll fly ya home.”
“It’s OK, miss LeAnne. I wanna meet your famous pa and your ma.”
“Well OK,” she said.
“Now show me the way to your house. I don't have a map of the North Pole.”
Well, they finally made it to Rudolph's home after an hour. Rudy was one
angry dad buck at this point.
“LeAnne!” He shouted.
She got scared of her pa ‘cause he had never yelled at her like that
before. Oh, his nose was so bright with anger it lit up the entire North
“Your ma, Santa, and all the elves were looking all over for you, young
“I met a new friend,” she said.
“And who is this friend?” Rudolph asked.
“His name is Leroy.”
“Well, tell Leroy to get out of here with that… What in the world is
that?!” Rudy said.
“It’s a flying John Deere tractor.”
“The only thing that flies around here is Santa's sleigh. Now go to your
“Yes pa,” LeAnne said sadly.
Now, as you can imagine, Rudolph was a bit hot under the collar…ahem…the
nose by this point, so he stepped outside into the bitter cold to speak
to this crazy redneck buck Leroy. As Rudy approached the flying tractor,
Leroy was shaking in his cowboy boots.
“You young buck, come out of that flying tractor!”
“Yes sir,” Leroy said, with a quiver in his voice.
“Well, don't just sit there, son…get out!”
Leroy was so damn scared he done shut off the engine. Now Rudolph and
Leroy had a little chat.
“Now, son, what brought you here to the North Pole in that get-up of a
“It’s Rudolph to you, young man.”
“Yes sir. Sorry. Well, you see, I'm an outlaw deer in the mountains of
Tennessee and my ma and pa kicked me out.”
“Why?” asked Rudolph.
“Well, ‘cause none of the doe girls back home didn't like me ‘cause of
my flying tractor.”
“Well, I wonder why? That thing is too loud,” said Rudolph.
“Um…yeah,” Leroy said quietly. “Well, I was wantin’ to see if I could
get a job for the winter helpin’ Santy Claus, your boss man.”
“Well, son, he's already got me, plus all the other reindeer. Besides,
what can that tractor do for Santa, anyway?”
“Well, the same thing his sleigh does, but my tractor can deliver toys
to all the young’uns in the north and the south. It can plunk all them
thar presents at all the farmhouses and city slicker ones, too. I
figured, Mr. Rudolph, you could use a break once in a while. With your
nose as bright as a spotlight, I'm sure you can get dang tired.”
“Well, yes, its tiring,” said Rudolph.
“You see, I was lost out here and, dag nabbit, I didn't bring a map to
this dag gone North Pole. I saw your pretty doe girl, miss LeAnne, and
she showed me the way to y'all’s house.”
“Well, since you traveled all this way, you can sleep here, but you have
to sleep in that flying tractor,” Rudolph said.
“Well, I reckon I can do that for one night, but why cain't I sleep in
y'all’s place, Rudolph?”
“Well, you can't, ‘cause Santa Claus doesn't know you’re here.”
“Well, OK,” said Leroy. “I have a nice runnin’ heater in the cab of my
“Well, I'll see you in the morning, Leroy. We'll see if Santy…I mean
Santa…can give you a job. Clarice and I need a vacation. I've not had
one in years! I must know one thing before I turn in for the night,
Leroy,” Rudolph asked. “How will that tractor light the way for Santa?”
“Well, glad you asked, sir,” he said excitedly. So, Leroy flipped on the
headlights. Boy they was as bright as Christmas lights, if not more so.
“Hey, you'd better turn them lights off, Leroy. You'll wake up all the
snow creatures, and Santa!”
“Yes sir,” Leroy said.
Well, the next morning came. Rudolph pounded on Leroy's tractor window
with his hoof.
“Hey! What in tarnation is that?!” he said.
“Wake up, Leroy,” Rudolph said.
“I was in a deep sleep, sir.”
“Well, you want to work for my boss for the winter, right?”
“Yup,” said Leroy.
“OK, then we must see Santa at once.”
“Sir, can miss LeAnne come, too?”
“Nope,” said Rudolph.
“Why not, sir?”
“’Cause I'm not too sure about you yet. You kind of talk funny, you see.”
“Well, sir, not to be rude, but you talk a bit funny yourself.”
“It’s my red nose,” Rudolph said, laughing.
“Oh yeah, I forgot,” Leroy chuckled.
“Well, let’s go!”
“Um…should we take my tractor, sir?” Leroy asked.
“No, Leroy. We'll walk. Santa's house and workshop are on the other side
of the snow bank. That thing is loud, anyway.”
“OK,” said Leroy, “we'll walk yonder to the boss's house.”
Rudolph cautiously walked up to Santa's house and rang the doorbell. A
cute little elf girl answered the door.
“Yes, Rudolph?” She said.
“Um…is Santa busy at the moment?” he asked.
“Now Rudolph, you know he's always busy. It’s almost Christmas!”
“Don't remind me,” Rudolph said.
So, the cute little elf girl went into Santa's shop at the back of the
“Um…Mr. Claus?” she asked. “Um…Rudolph would like to speak to you, sir.”
“Well, tell him to come in,” Santa said.
The little elf girl said, “OK boys, Santa will see you now.”
Leroy was very nervous. He was so nervous, he kept sucking on a Slim Jim.
“Rudolph!” Santa said. “Who is your friend there?”
“Well, sir, his NAME Is Leroy.”
“Leroy?” Santa said. “Well, Leroy, what brings you to the North Pole,
“Well, sir, I got lost last night. I done forgot to bring me a map to
this place, dag nabbit! Anyway, I saw Rudolph's pretty little doe girl,
miss LeAnne, on a snow bank and she showed me the way to their house.
You see, Santa, my ma and pa kicked me out. It’s a long story. I come
from the mountains of Tennessee and I need a job, sir.”
“A job?” Santa asked.
“Yup. You see, sir, I came here in a flying John Deere tractor. I didn't
bring it with me ‘cause that thing is so loud I hurt them thar snow
“So, son, how does this flying object work?” asked Santa.
“Well, it runs on diesel fuel and it flies, of course.”
“Hmm,” said the big elf.
“Should we hop in your sleigh and I'll show you how it works?” Leroy
asked with excitement.
“Well, Ok,” Santa said.
As they crossed the snow bank back to Rudolph's house Santa saw this
marvelous piece of redneck way of traveling. “It’s amazing!” he said.
“Yup,” Leroy said. “You see, Mr. Claus, it has pretty bright headlights.
It’s about as bright as Rudy's nose!”
“It’s Rudolph, remember, young man!”
“Yes sir,” said Leroy. “You see, I wanna give Rudolph a break this
Christmas. He says him and the missus need a vacation.”
“What?! A vacation?”
“Sorry, sir,” Rudolph said. “I wanted to tell you, but I never got
around to it since you’re so busy making toys.”
“Well, what are you waiting for, son? Christmas is only 2 days away. How
do you fly this thing?” Santa asked.
Well, Leroy showed that fat guy how to operate that flying tractor. They
took a test flight around the North and South Pole.
Santa, Rudolph and Leroy had so much fun on that thar tractor they lost
track of time. Mrs. Claus and Clarice had prepared a fine supper. Of
course, Mrs. Claus made double for Santa.
Anyway, Clarice was madder than a hornet. “Rudolph, where have you been,
darling?” she asked.
“Well, I was flying in a tractor with Santa and Leroy.”
“Leroy?” she demanded to know. “Who is Leroy?”
“Well, he's an outlaw reindeer from…”
“I don't care where he came from!” Clarice said. “Was that who you were
talking to last night after LeAnne came home very late?”
“Yes,” Rudolph said. “Honey, we are taking a vacation this Christmas. I
need a break. You see, Leroy will help Santa guide and deliver all the
toys this year to all the girls and boys. The headlights are as bright
as my red nose.”
“I don't believe this! said Clarice. She walked away in a huff.
“Darling, this flying tractor is great!” he shouted down the hall.
Clarice thought to herself, why did I marry that crazy red nosed deer?
Nope, Leroy was the crazy one. Who would have thought of a flying
tractor in the North Pole delivering presents to all boys and girls?
Wait a minute. I thought it up. It’s the part of the story that hasn't
been told till now, remember?
Anyway, Santa and Leroy set off with all his other reindeer to deliver
all the goodies. One thing was missing, however.
“Hey, Santy?” Leroy asked. “I need miss LeAnne to travel with us.”
“Why?” Santa asked. “You have me and all the others.”
“Well, sir, you see, I plan to ask her to marry me tonight before we get
All the other reindeer and Santa’s elves giggled at hearing the shocking
“You want to marry Rudolph's little doe girl?”
“Yes sir,” said Leroy.
“Well then, have her climb aboard the tractor!”
Santa let out a hardy “ho, ho, ho,” once they lifted off into the sky.
“Boy, that tractor sure made a roar…it hurt my ears!”
Well, LeAnne and Leroy were alone in the back of the tractor sorting out
the bags of toys and goodies. He looked into her eyes and said, “Well,
LeAnne, we've known each other for a while.”
“Yes, we have,” she said.
“Miss LeAnne, would you marry me?”
Now her nose turned red. So red like her pa's that the good people in
the mountains of Tennessee could see as they passed this great state.
She said, “Yes, Leroy, I'll marry you,” and with that they both hugged
Santa was so excited that the tractor flew faster than it usually can
fly. “Oops!” he said. “Sorry, kids.”
Well, after they made the annual worldwide voyage, they made it back to
the North Pole. The engine made such a ruckus it raddled the windows at
Santa's house where Mrs. Claus was waiting on the front porch.
By midnight Christmas night, LeAnne and Leroy were wed. You see, since
Rudy and Clarice were on vacation, Leroy borrowed Santa's iPhone 10, so
he could call Rudy.
“Hello?” Rudolph answered.
“Hey, sir, it’s me, Leroy. I hope I didn't interrupt your vacation.”
“Nope,” Rudolph said. “Why are you calling on Santa's phone?”
“Well, Rudolph, your daughter and I are gonna get married. May I have
your blessin’, sir?”
Rudy and Clarice were both in shock. See, when Rudy answered, he had
Leroy on speaker phone as they lay on the sandy beach with their hoof
toes buried in the sand.
“Well, since you two have been dating in the North Pole and she loves
you so much, you may wed her.”
“Thank you, sir!” he said, and Leroy let out a loud “Yeehaw!”
Santa made arrangements to fly Rudolph and Clarice back home in his
sleigh in time for the big wedding.
Meanwhile, all of Santa's cute little girl elves and Cleo, LeAnne's
sister, decorated Santa's workshop.
“Didn't we just have a wedding not too long ago?” one of them asked.
“Yeah, it was like 25 years ago,” another one said.
Well, Rudy and the missus made it home just in time. It was such a
beautiful wedding. Heck, even all the snow creatures enjoyed it. The
guest list was so huge, I can't list everybody here! Leroy invited all
his family of course. Heck, Santa even made a special request to Alan
Jackson, Dolly Parton and a few other Country friends of Leroy's family
to play and sing at the reception. See, Santa has ways, since he knows
everybody ,famous or not.
So, this finally ends our story of what happened to Rudolph after saving
Christmas way down in history oh so long ago. Well, I'm off to bed.
You'd better be good boys and girls. Heck, Leroy might bring y'all a
remote controlled flying tractor.